There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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