He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
