How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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