Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
