it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
just tell him i said nine months
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
