my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
