i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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