You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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