so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
do herpes really smell.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
