idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
