Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
