Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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