Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize