why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
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