she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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