so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Even the bartender felt bad for me
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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