HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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