i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Randomize
