Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
