you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize