She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
