U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
