so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize