Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
