My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize