That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
