I love black thongs
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
