to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
