She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
