I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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