Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
you will always have a special place in my vag
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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