I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
As shirtless as possible
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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