haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
