saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
ttyl tear gas
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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