We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
