im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
