he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I will pee on everything he values.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
