Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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