I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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