There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
