Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
