Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
