Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
