Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize