I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
