My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
