How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
