yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
