You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You were trust falling into bushes
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
