Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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