They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
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