i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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