She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize