i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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