Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
