He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Just high enough for therapy.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
