is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Randomize
