he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
